Struggling with low self-esteem can feel awful. It can leave you feeling incapable, undeserving and unworthy. You can feel like you are constantly comparing yourself to others and that nothing you do will ever be enough. You can be your own worst critic, tormenting and judging yourself unfairly. It can lead to you avoiding situations that you find challenging and make you want to hide from the world. Our self-esteem can be negatively impacted in lots of different ways; sometimes it can be affected momentarily and sometimes it can be affected for a while – maybe even years. Factors that affect our self-esteem will be unique to each individual. To name a few, these could be things like our appearance, health, income, relationships or interactions on social media. Here are five ways that I believe can support you to build upon your self-esteem, grow your confidence and help you begin to implement healthy changes.
1. Celebrate Your Success – Take the time to acknowledge and celebrate your accomplishments. This doesn’t have to be limited to things that are globally recognised as successful. This includes any and every achievement; things that have been difficult for you that others may not understand. This could be getting out of bed in the morning, putting away that load of washing in the corner of your room, or sending that email saved in your drafts. Big or small - they all have an impact. Taking notice of the small wins encourages your confidence to grow as you begin to develop on your self-compassion and self-worth. Every success counts and you get to decide what success means for you.
2. Say ‘No’ More – Although it can feel great to say yes, sometimes it can feel even better to say no. Remember that it is actually okay to say no. Remember that you are worthy and your feelings are valid regardless of what anyone else says. Saying the big ‘no’ can feel tricky and a bit uncomfortable at first, especially if this is something you are not used to doing, however, once you start to see the benefits of setting appropriate boundaries you can feel like you have been given a new lease of life. Saying ‘no’ encourages you to recognise who you truly are underneath that people pleaser. It helps you to get to know your own likes, dislikes and have more time to live a life that feels right for you.
3. Be Kind to You – What does your inner voice sound like? Is it kind or is it critical? Do you speak to yourself how you would speak to someone who you cared about? Odds are you might not, and if that’s true then this may be a good place to begin to make a change. Remember that you have got ‘you’ for the rest of your life. You wake up to your thoughts every single day and you always will. How much better could your life be if you liked and accepted yourself for who you are? You are in control of how you choose to value yourself and only you have the capability to alter your mindset. Bear in mind that this can take time and practice. Believing in yourself and becoming your own advocate can do wonders for your self-esteem.
4. Allow for mistakes – Begin to forgive yourself when you get things wrong. Yes, it can be frustrating to make a mistake but beating yourself up for it is not going to change whatever happened. Making a mistake does not make you a failure so try to learn to become comfortable with not always getting it spot on. Understand that you are always doing the best that you possibly can and no one gets its right all of the time. You are not a robot and you will never be perfect. See the beauty in making mistakes! It is part of being human and each and any mistake will be an opportunity to learn from and help you to grow.
5. Learn to self-trust – I believe that you are the expert on you. No one will ever know you better than you know yourself, so who better to make your decisions and choices in life? It is common to doubt yourself if you have been criticised or judged by others. You begin to internalise their comments and opinions and believe this to be your truth. Try to break the habit of questioning your own capabilities and begin to notice your strengths. Be vulnerable and take a chance on you. Trusting yourself supports you in living more authentically and at peace; alleviating others’ expectations and standards so that you can live your life for you, the way that you want to.
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