Do you want to know what can be an instant block when it comes to the effectiveness of your therapy? The relationship between yourself and your counsellor. It is one of the most important influences on your ability to engage and get what you need out of your sessions. You need someone who is wholeheartedly there for you, someone who you feel completely understands you, who can empathically hold you and who has the ability to really hear what you have to say. You need to feel that you can be yourself with your counsellor and that they are on your side. They are not your friend, but they are the person who you can connect with and disclose to without fear of prejudice or shame.
Benefits of Connection
This type of trust can take a while to develop, which is why it can take time to notice the benefits of counselling. It is likely you can feel some benefits from your first session or it may respectfully take some more time. If you that feel counselling has not worked for you in the past, one of the factors that may contribute to this could be that you and your counsellor were simply not compatible. This is why I believe it is really important for you to have the opportunity to get an idea of who you are choosing to work with and how they can support you. To help narrow your choice down it’s worth asking yourself: 'what type of characteristics do I want my counsellor to uphold?'
· Do you want someone who seems relatable, smiley and warm?
· Do you want someone who seems serious, interested and directive?
· Do you need to work with someone who you share something in common with?
· Do you need to work with someone who is the total opposite to you?
· Do you need to work with someone younger, older?
· Do you have a preference towards a male or female counsellor?
· Do you need someone who is reliable?
How about how they present themselves?
Counsellors are generally taught to keep self-disclosure to a minimum, as our clients are our priority and main focus throughout our work. Saying this, there is still a lot that we can inevitably give away to our clients through our personal styles, choice of clothing – even the way we speak! As much as we all say we are non-judgmental, everyone is to a certain degree. Would it make a difference to you if your counsellor had no tattoos or was covered in them? What is your take on piercings? Not all counsellors have the stereotypical cardigan and scarf vibes, what if they wore bright colours – would this help to lift your mood or would this leave you feeling distracted and over stimulated in your sessions? Would you prefer your counsellor to be well-spoken, eloquent, common… cockney? Does this have any effect on you?
Free Services vs. Private Practice
If you are accessing counselling for free, chances are you do not get to make these choices. If you opt for a private counsellor, however; I want to help you spend your money effectively and not go for the first person who pops up in your local area! You can start by looking through the potential counsellor’s directory, their newsletters, websites or maybe even their social media platforms. Notice what attracts your attention. A lot of counsellors offer a free, no obligation phone call and some even a free first session to help you get a feel for who they are.
My Aim It may seem like minor things and I am by no means trying to put more obstacles in the way in the difficult task that is choosing a counsellor. I understand that it can take a lot of courage and a huge amount of energy to take the plunge and search for a therapist. My aim is to help you reflect on the type of people that you connect with so you can find the right fit for you. Recognising this is a great step in gaining more self-awareness, too. Doing some background research or driving an extra mile is always going to be worth it if it means that you are arriving on the doorstep of a counsellor who is the type of person you can get on with, trust and benefit from.
Comentários