Reminder 1: Allow yourself to feel your feelings.
It’s understandable to want to run away or pretend everything is okay when really, we know deep down we are not feeling okay at all. It is normal for us to find it difficult to fully feel and accept our emotions for a lot of reasons. We may worry that if we allow ourselves to feel what we are avoiding the feeling will never leave. We may feel that is it not acceptable to feel what society class as ‘negative’ emotions and that we need to ‘put on a brave face’ and carry on with our day. We may have lived in a household where we had to process our emotions alone and feelings were not encouraged to be expressed. Another clear reason is that it hurts! It’s natural to want to avoid pain and it is a common misconception that if we ignore our feelings they will eventually give up and disappear. Unfortunately, this is not true and can instead cause unhealthy cycles and patterns to form. It can actually prolong our feelings as we are not allowing ourselves to let them go. When we suppress our emotions, they cannot be released. They become a part of us until we choose to pay attention, recognise and allow ourselves to fully feel. It is then that we can build on our self-awareness and begin to improve our mental health.
Reminder 2: Only you will fully understand how it feels.
Sometimes we can take comfort in knowing that we are not alone, but sometimes we can feel irritated when others comment on how we feel, or how they think we should feel, or what they think we should do to make ourselves feel better. Listening to other's advice can feel helpful at times however it can also lead to further confusion, insecurity, and disappointment. It can sometimes make us feel under further pressure to be doing more to feel better. It’s common for others to tell you that they have been through what you are going through before. Remember that this is not possible because this is your experience, and it is completely individual to you. Others can empathise and show their understanding; however, no one can fully understand what it is like to be you and live your life, and therefore only you know best what you can do to help your situation.
Reminder 3: Do what you need to help yourself feel safe.
- Avoid those who leave you feeling guilty, ashamed, or just generally worse.
- Reach out to those who are helpful, compassionate, and safe.
- Create distance and space from toxicity.
- Reach out to a professional or make an appointment to see your GP.
- Engage in self-care that you enjoy.
- Journal to process.
Reminder 4: It is not permanent, and it will pass.
Go easy on yourself and take one day at a time. As much as I know you want a miracle cure today, the chances are that this will not happen. Life is hard. Be gentle and kind and know that healing takes time and energy. You are human. Feeling low, as well as all your other emotions, is a part of life. We all experience these moments, and they will pass.
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